We woke up early to meet with our team at Sloan Kettering. The surgeon took a look at my drain and stitching and was pleased with how everything was healing. They decided to remove the drain, but leave in the stitches for another week. While I was speaking with him, the nurse practitioner removed the drain. I honestly didn't even know she had done this because the area where the drain is inserted into my side is numb as a result of them removing a large nerve from the area. I'm feeling pretty sensitive about "losing my nerve", so please refrain from puns you feel are clever or funny when you see me. Like don't say, "Hey, you got some nerve! Oh, wait...no you don't". Or don't say, "Hey, you had a nerve removed from your back during surgery!" Both are equally upsetting to me. The surgeon explained to us that he was able to get all of the cancerous masses out from underneath my arm and that the pathology had yet to come back. Believe it or not, they still do not know the exact name of the cancer that I have. The exact kind really does not matter at this point as it didn't back in December because they know the family of cancer that it is in and they are all treated the same way. He started to tell me the name of the cancer that they thought it was and it consisted of like 5 words, each longer than the one before it, and each I had never heard before.
We then moved on to the next topic which was what is next in the treatment process. He said that he would like to continue on with two more cycles of chemo, then we will return to NYC for more scans. If the adrenal glands are still shrinking, it sounds as if he will want to maintain chemo. If there isn't change or if the masses are growing, I think we will have surgery then. So, it's kind of a weird feeling to be pulling for the chemo to continue in it's effectiveness, but at the same time, I really want surgery to get these things out of there. So, during the 2 cycles, Karen and I are going to be looking for an endocrinologist in the area who can sit down and explain to us what life without adrenals or living "adrenal deficient" will be like. From what we understand, it is managed with medicine and a controlled diet. One thing we have learned that has stood out is that I will lose my "Fight or Flight" response. So if a person with a gun walks into a Denny's, my reaction won't be like everyone else's. Some people will want to attack the person toting the gun, others will run, and others will hide. I, will be flagging down the waitress to order a milkshake. Things won't bother me in the same way they used to. I think, for the most part, that is a good thing. People who are adrenal deficient are often said to be "blah" about many things. So, I have decided to jump on board with this "meh" term that was trending for a bit. Most likely am going to get a few shirts printed out with #meh printed out on them. Maybe i'll adopt some of the funny adverts that MetLife puts out there with the help of the Peanuts gang. #MehLife. So for now, it's back home loving being back with Harper, seeing our dogs, and being able to sleep in our own bed.
So to wrap up, we are extremely thankful and feeling beyond blessed that we are back home after a fairly major surgery. I was in the best hands possible. The operation and the recovery have both been phenomenal. I cannot say enough how much the prayers, love, and various kinds of support from family and friends have meant to us. I'm not often serious, but hey...i'm being serious now. I love you all and appreciate everything you all do for me and my family.
Talk to you all in a couple of cycles.
love- Brian
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